Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
