Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
