i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
