dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
