Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
