this boner is exhausting
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
