ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
