How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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