i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
