I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
