got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
worst night to have a conscience
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
