Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
