Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
