We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
