I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Damn victory sex feels great
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
