Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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