Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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