Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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