'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
