I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
