OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
