So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
