I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
