She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
