I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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