we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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