I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
