I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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