margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
