Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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