you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
