I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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