i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
