Duck Duck Cougar?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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