tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
