When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
