If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
