My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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