after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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