You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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