we have pet lesbian snakes
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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