I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
