Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
