If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
