I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
