Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
