I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
