you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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