Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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