I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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