I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
