You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I looked at my own cervix.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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