Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
