My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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