FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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