absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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