Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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