Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
