do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
