Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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