Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
